I entered a post on the commentary page on how a certain, so-called “fringe knowledge” site rankled my feathers a little bit. But I forgive myself for allowing myself to react by being “irritated” by people who turned their backs on the process of self-application and the reality of oneness and equality. I say, “oneness and equality,” not knowing at this point what that really means. That’s okay, because in the silence of the breath, I am present. Yes. And even if I admit to myself that I fail too often in stilling the mind, I know that my mind is much quieter than I have ever experienced before.
It was funny. I caught myself thinking about what I was going to write about in the blog at work, today. I have a problem with being bored. I can’t stand it. It’s really too bad that my job really bores me. At least it’s easy. But, in the boredom is where I catch myself darting from thought to thought. When I catch it, I “X” it out and say, “delete.” I can see where Process : Self-Honesty can come in handy with honing my self-honesty as I present myself as myself to myself.
Sometimes, a vague, ill-defined emotion, usually sadness or dissatisfaction, will pass through me. I know it is my mind generating these feelings and emotions, and I know I don’t define myself by these things, anymore. And it passes. Sometimes, I remember to breathe.
Self Honesty is like an arrow, isn’t it. An arrow that flies straight and True.
Today I worked a boring job, but I didn’t mind. I am not complaining when I say, “boring.” It is what it is. Fact is, I have become comfortable doing it. I work in a library at a state university. Man, people work here that have been here 30-38 years! For a lot of the old-timers, it’s been the only job they have ever had! That really gets me. How can you live a life and build a world around your job 30 years? For me, when I got out of high school, the name of the game was to leave town! And I never looked back.
I missed Denise today, a little. I should get over that right now, because missing her isn’t going to make her appear at my door. I worry about her driving, especially when she tells me she hit a curb that she “didn’t see.” Take it easy, Darryl. Take it easy!