2008/02/04 – God: Part Two

God damn it. Does God Damn? Further, does God give a good goddamn? Maybe the fuck-up in this world is what it is because it is part of His Plan. 


I haven’t believed in God as a “being” for many, many years, now. I used to believe in God as an old guy in the sky, and later as a light, a power. That’s what I had experienced in my White Light Incident, where I perceived the Light of God upon me and within me as me. Light and Power. I knew I could never die after this experience. My body, sure, but I had a metaphysical awareness that who I really am has always existed. 


God definitely existed for me, then, if only as a kiss of Light and Power. I had heard New Age Light Weenies say that each of us are God. I never knew what to think of that because what does being “god,” entail? I took the notion of being part of the same infinite, celestial fabric that “God” was made of. “All That Is,” as  Seth and Jane Roberts put it. That was something I could get behind, for that specific designation was just unspecific enough not to keep me awake at night. 


What was described and mapped out as “God” in the various “Holy Books” in the world were just superstitious mewlings of a superstitious people who weren’t all that smart. I never thought of or worried about “Judgment Day” because all that Bible stuff was bullshit. Except for Jesus. Don’t know why, but that was hard to let go of for me. 


Then, many years later, the Conversation With God books hit the shelves. Whoa. Here’s somebody channeling “God” himself. I think I may have bought or read nearly all of those books. They were easy to read, and I largely agreed with it’s views. Maybe this guy Walsch was channeling his God Self. That would make sense. So I became a believer again. But no your prosaic bible-thumper, no. 


But began bugging me was that all these great words by “God” didn’t do squat. And that’s where I began to wonder if all this channeling stuff, something that I believed in whole-heartedly twenty years ago, was a bunch of hooey. 





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