Last year I was completely fed up with the New Age channeled messages that I had followed since my mysterious night time experience with the White Light when I was back in college twenty years ago. After I had experienced a religious “crisis” (I told “God” if “He” didn’t prove “His” existence to me, I would no longer believe in “Him”), White Light emanated from within my body and the intense pressure I experienced within me persuaded me to believe for a brief second that I would became a classic case of spontaneous human combustion. Apparently this was a profound, mystical experience that would guide my thoughts and actions for the rest of my life, and “proof” that I was “special” to be “chosen” for such an experience. “Proof” that “God” or “Spirit” had placed this experience in my world to reveal to me that a power greater than myself existed. And since I was given no explanation, I was forced to devise one on my own. And with the help of many books that I devoured written by “ascended” “transcendent” beings such as Jane Roberts/”Seth”, “Ramtha” (whom I never fully trusted for some reason – he seemed like a dick), the mysterious beings behind the Urantia Book, Lyssa Royal, Barbara Hand Clow, Sedona Magazine, “Michael,” “Kryon,” Neale David Walsch and his “Conversations With God” books, and in the digital realm, the long-defunct Spiritweb site along with the Crimson Circle and “Tobias,” Lightworker, ZetaTalk and Spirit – led sites like “Lady Kadjina” and “Kirael” and many others too numerous to mention, I gamely tried to fashion a working model on the nature of reality.
The lack of a unified narrative became frustrating for me because I believed that there had to be some sort of unifying principle in the ultimate reality and therefore Spirit should speak with One Voice. This was clearly not the case, as differing, competing New Age narratives were articulated and promoted. Taken together, it was all too messy and confused. Why? What was going on that a single narrative or a general, consistent and coherent model of the spirit realm was impossible to fashion? As time passed, I definitely had the sneaking suspicion that the spirits were not telling everything.
Oddly enough, when reading through the fantastically iconoclastic Book of the SubGenius, back in the mid-eighties that the idea that maybe the Super Spirits could have an agenda that was less than benevolent. The Book of the SubGenius referred to writer Kyle Griffith’s book, War In Heaven where Griffin claims that an actual war in heaven had been taking place for eons between the Theocrats and the Invisible College, and that the Theocrats used deception to trick the recently departed to worship them as “God” complete with “angels” and “saints” – all the while engaging in spiritual cannibalism of the duped souls who stupidly thought they were “Glorifying the Lord of Hosts” while being drained of their life-force, which Griffin dryly remarks, “Holy Communion, indeed.” Of course, there existed the binary opposite of this Manichean equation in the role of the Invisible College, depicted as always stepping up to thwart the stratagems of the Theocrats. Allegedly. What Griffin depicted was a bit shocking, but it was as just as plausible as any other description of the “Higher Planes” floating out there. It had the ring of truth.
But I did not give the concept of deception in Heaven much thought until after Y2K when the predicted events of planes falling out of the sky, and the bank accounts zeroing out, etc., DID NOT TAKE PLACE, I wondered aloud to myself if Griffin had been on to something. Then 911 and the Iraq War. Spirits mewling and droning on that “these things must take place,” didn’t sit well with me. Maybe, just maybe, spirits were fucking with us and just “lying their asses off,” as the Book of the SubGenius claimed! I began withdrawing from the idea that the channeled messages from the New Wave Super Spirits were beyond reproach, and over time, I had become so disappointed and disgusted with trying to decipher which channel was the “best” (or the least deceptive). All the messages were the same… and different. I finally gave up on searching for answers at this time a little more than a year ago. The messages had changed nothing. Nothing was proven and nobody cared.
One day as I was busily deleting New Age sites that had accumulated in my favorites folder, I came across the Spirit Library site I just added a week or two before. Before I closed it, I saw an interesting post in the forum. It was written by a poster named, “Anthony.” And part of what he wrote was this:
“We have launched an addition to our site where we publish messages from the recently departed to their loved ones– this is done randomly with 10 crossover messages a day– we cannot due to time constraints do specific readings. If you had some-one that crossed over recently, you may find a message at http://www.desteni-universe.co.za . The messages are typed by the being that crossed over themselves through the interdimensional portal.”
This was very interesting. I had never come across any channeled message that claimed to have access to beings that had recently crossed over. It never occurred to me that such a thing was possible, because all previously channeled messages came from aliens, gods, goddesses elementals, historical or religious figures or “Ascended Masters.” And what was this “interdimensional portal?” Sounded like something from a Philip K. Dick story.
I decided to give Desteni a try.