2011/02/16 – Lost In the Funhouse

I quit smoking weed shortly after I entered process about 3 years ago. I haven’t missed it at all, something that continues to amaze me, since I absolutely enjoyed the experience of getting buzzed. Funny, I can’t remember the day or the moment when I decided to stop smoking weed. I just stopped. Maybe it was because I realized that I was placing a part of me or my mind outside myself into that burning stick of weed in my mouth. It was definitely an escape where I would play in the funhouse of my mind to my heart’s content. Being stoned is very solitary, for nobody can enter into your buzz on the same level as you are. Even if you are still sitting in a room full of stoners, nobody will be able to buzz with you as you are internally. Doing any kind of drug will cause a massive separation that will be difficult to bridge the gap.

I loved to burn. But I realized that I was entertaining and separating myself (and others) from myself  through the use of an external object. Before process I would have justified puffing through all kinds of fronts.

For instance, I would have said, “It’s harmless Nobody gets hurt,” or, “It helps me relax,” or, “I can quit any time.” You know, the usual ones that often work. But I quit, anyway. when I looked at it carefully. dope did not add any value to my  life at all. It just made things weird.

Be careful of justifying separation of any kind, especially through drugs.I look back on my life and it seems as if  I were locked in a box and didn’t even know it!  Thanks to common sense, I made it out of the Funhouse.

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