2011/03/27 – Prelude to Failure?

Ever felt exasperated? You know, when an immense tidal wave of intense annoyance sweeps you away and you’re left wondering what the hell happened?

It’s times like this when I usually try to analyze the event to understand it better. But this time I don’t want to understand it. I am trying to forget it, but writing about it doesn’t seem to be helping with that now.

In these moments, which always seems to pop up around me, there eventually comes a sense of resignation and acceptance of reversal of fortunes and fear of the future. But it’s not so much “fear of the future” as this current moment that leaves a warm, nauseous bowling ball in my stomach. Ugh.

Let’s face it – everything we do is a prelude to failure. And that is a problem when people expect or want you to be something, like a glorified, ideal of manhood or womanhood, and not accepting who you are. Then you are free to fail all the more. And yet, we  all are a work-in-progress… er, I mean, “process,” aren’t we? Even the people we find exasperating.We all are sliding down a precipitous slope of Failure into our death, no doubt pulling everyone we can down into that empty, unknown hole with us, because we’re really that mean. That’s why we set up this system the way it is to punish the losers and reward the winners and make sure nobody gets out of the box because they are too busy surviving and maintaining relationships. And we created all of that because we believed we deserved to be  punished. And we do deserve it, simply because nobody has ever thought to change it! That’s the fucked-up part! We just allow this fuck-up to keep rolling,it going: this system, sinister and pathological. a slapstick, murderous and suicidal shadowbox of misery and the money that so successfully creates it. We just sit back and watch the wheels grind up the hapless many who can’t get out of the way. As long as the wheels don’t grind you into a pulp, who the hell cares?

Now I know you’re probably not going to listen to this, but I’ll say it anyway… Equal Money is the only possible answer to what ails this world, and I believe that it will… IF we can let go of our deviant, selfish attributes that wants to destroy everything in sight.

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