Speed bumps. There are a bunch of them around my house. The idea is that these raised humps of black top will slow down your car through residential neighborhoods.
Sometimes I become so possessed by my mind… or is it that sometimes I allow myself to be possessed by my mind, that it seems like there’s nothing for me to say or to write about. Nothing “comes up,” and I get frustrated because I know that there’s plenty to write about and it’s that I don’t want to talk about me. Ah, this again.
Do you know what I mean when I say, “mind-possession?” It’s a mental lockdown where you can’t move yourself to do anything but wallow within your emotional confusion. It happens to me when I have a sense of accomplishment, I’ve noticed, and then “poof,” everything that I experienced as self-directed movement; swept away.
It’s the same way with self-forgiveness, which I used to do well, but I’ve become a bit afraid of it by building the rationale that I don’t want to do it because I’m afraid of doing it wrong or not effectively enough. I know this is crap, so the only way out of it is to place it where everyone can see, because that’s what I don’t want to happen. We should always do the things we don’t want to do, or are afraid to do, for that is the way proof of changing one’s self can be seen and experienced. I mean, we all know that people don’t change. I mean, “really change.” We aren’t willing to pay the price to be self-honest. Not only that, we aren’t even aware that such a life is possible. What is ironic is that I have extreme difficulty sharing my process with others and yet I created a blog for that reason. The reasons for that is because it’s safer to blend anonymously into the crowd. But change isn’t going to happen through any act of disappearance, that is is obvious.
I’ve been involved with the Desteni process for almost four years now. I’ve met and lived with the principal people involved with the Desteni I Process, and let me tell you, I’m a better person for it and it’s been the most exciting time of my life. and it’s continually amazing to me how my life has changed forever through that participation. I’ve had the time of my life and admit that there were a few moments that was pretty horrifying, as well. The horror comes about in realizing how screwed the human race has really become, and that nobody (well, in America, anyway) seems to realize just how bad things really are. The condition is truly beyond words.It may be already too late to do anything about it except tuning in to “Dancing with the Stars.”However, all is not lost. If we can manage to effect a real and lasting “change” within each self, it is likely that we will bring forth a society that will not smirk about the common sense of equality, but embrace it fully.
I am experiencing a bit of self-judgment here re-reading this, and you know, why is that coming up? Especially while I’m seeing a bit of change within me regarding back chat,* as in I don’t follow so blindly in the back chats as I used to. I am cutting down on it…
Pretty cool stuff. So watch out for the speed bumps. And let ‘er RIP!
* Back chat is the term we use for incessant chattering of the mind.